Fiction

Acorna the "unicorn girl" -- found as a baby years ago, abandoned and floating alone in an escape pod at the far end of the galaxy -- has made peace with her past, her Linyaari heritage, and with the powerful "differences" that set her apart from the loving humans who raised her.  But only in the deep reaches of limitless space can she truly feel at home. Now, aboard the interplanetary salvage vessel Condor, Acorna is free once more, traveling through space in the company of her good friend, ship's commander Captain Jonas Becker, his gargantuan feline "first mate" Roadkill, and Aari, a proud Linyaari survivor of torture at the hands of the savage, bug-like Khleevi.  But the journey is interrupted when a transmitted distress call -- faint but undeniable -- draws Acorna and her companions down to the surface of a nearby planet. What awaits them is a world of wonders, shrouded in an atmosphere of strange, intoxicating perfumes.  Intelligent, sentiment plants help guide Acorna, Becker, Aari, and RK to the source of the SOS.  But a broken, burned out -- alien ship is all they find, the pitiful remnants of a relentlessly brutal yet carefully coordinated assault.  To Acorna, the signs are unmistakable. This is the grim handiwork of the cold-blooded species that seeks the complete eradication of all human and Linyaari life from the galaxy...the Khleevi! And suddenly all that Acrona holds dear is in grave peril.  Because the devastation that was wrought here was no isolated occurence, but the opening move in a planned onslaught that will decimate the two races to whom Acorna is culturally, emotionally, and genetically tied.  A worlds-shattering catastrophe is in the making -- unless one courageous and beautiful young woman with remarkable healing powers and her small, motley group of friends can go the unthinkable: discover the fearsome insectile enemy's greatest weakness...and strike first.

Finally, the wait is over. The most comprehensive collection of Chuck Norris facts from the New York Times bestselling series by Ian Spector is ready to blow your mind. Only the manliest of men will be able to handle this bind-up of The Truth About Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T, Chuck Norris Cannot Be Stopped, The Last Stand of Chuck Norris, and over one hundred new facts. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from these 1,500 facts about the man so powerful we quake when uttering his name: Chuck Norris.

Darrell Hammond is best known for taking over the late Phil Hartman’s role on Saturday Night Live as the resident Bill Clinton impressionist. But perhaps the most influential sketch of Hammond’s career was as Al Gore in the first presidential debate of the 2000 election, opposite Will Ferrell as George W. Bush. Everyone who saw the piece remembers each candidate’s final statement—“lockbox” for Hammond as Gore—but few know that Hammond cut himself before going onstage that night when he couldn’t remember how to do Gore’s voice. Those are the stories that make Hammond’s memoir, God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked, worth reading, even though most of his memories don’t live up to that one.

Because no one will write an unauthorized biography about Emmy-winning actor and comedian Chris Elliott, he has done it himself. You’re hereby warned that much of this book will be disturbing. The Guy Under the Sheets is a behind-the-scenes memoir so personal, so provocative, that Elliott nearly sued himself to halt publication: The most shocking revelation, corroborated by numerous unnamed sources, is that Elliott is not the absurdist comedian that Rolling Stone once called "a genius". In fact, he’s a slightly dim-witted no-talent from a celebrity family who managed to convince a whole generation of disillusioned youth that he was funny.